Funny, but genius quotes?
HI!!! I’m just in the mood for smiling. 
What are some funny, genius quotes? Is there a website? Or you can leave yours either way is fine with me!! )
Here’s some funny genius quotes for example:
-Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
-Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
-All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
-Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
-I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better
-It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
-DO NOT drink and drive…you might spill the drink.
-mirrors don’t talk and lucky for you they don’t laugh
“Nobody really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you’ll see why.”
“Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don’t believe in dragons.”
“Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.”
“If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.”
“Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.”
“Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.”
“Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they’re the scenic route.”
“Conscience is the thing that feels bad when everything else is feeling good.”
“Life’s a waste of time, time’s a waste of life so let’s all get wasted and have the time of our life.”
“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.”
“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”
“How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.”
“Without geography, you’re nowhere.”
“Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her.”
“Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.”
“Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.”
“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.”
“End discrimination. Hate everything.”
“Don’t be yourself. Be someone a little nicer.”
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